The Gift That Costs Nothing

Oprah Winfrey was famous for giving amazing gifts to her audience. In 1996, to celebrate the tenth anniversary of her show, Oprah surprised her entire audience with a trip to Disney World. For the premiere of her nineteenth season, she made television history by giving a brand-new car to every member of the audience. And in 2006, she sent each audience member home with $1,000, a handheld video camera, and a challenge: use the money to “pay it forward” by finding creative and inspiring ways to help others and document the experience on camera.

But what if I told you that each of us could take a page out of Oprah’s playbook and give everyone we encounter a special gift, one they could carry home to their families, share with others, and remember long after the moment has passed. And the best part? It wouldn’t cost us a penny.

Several years ago, researchers conducted an experiment involving 48 adults who were asked to perform a sequence of finger movements on a keyboard as quickly as possible for 30 seconds. The participants were divided into three groups. One group received individual compliments from an evaluator. A second group watched someone else receive a compliment. The third group evaluated their own performance using a graph.

When the participants returned the following day to repeat the exercise, those who had received direct compliments performed significantly better than those in the other groups. The researchers concluded that receiving praise could motivate people to improve their performance even a full day later.

But there was an even more fascinating finding. The researchers also examined the participants’ brain activity and discovered that receiving a compliment activated the same reward-related region of the brain associated with receiving money. A sincere compliment can provide a meaningful reward, one that motivates, encourages, and inspires us to do better.

So, here is the giveaway each of us can offer to the people in our lives. It’s not a brand-new car, a Disney vacation, or $1,000 in cash. It’s something far simpler, yet remarkably powerful: a compliment.

When you see someone doing something special, tell them you noticed. When your child or grandchild gives you a little nachas, don’t hold back. Let them know how proud you are. When you walk past a custodian or security guard, thank them for the work they do and the difference they make. When a colleague goes out of their way to help, acknowledge it. When a friend shows kindness, point it out. When someone makes a genuine effort, even if the results aren’t perfect, recognize the effort. A few sincere words can make someone feel like a million dollars. And chances are, they’ll make you feel pretty good, too!

More importantly, offering encouragement allows us to model ourselves after Hashem. One of the central questions raised by Parshas Noach is the character of Noach himself. The parsha opens with a striking description: “Noach ish tzaddik tamim hayah bedorosav”—“Noach was a righteous man, perfect in his generations.”

The Torah describes Noach as both a tzaddik and a tamim. These are extraordinary accolades. Noach was righteous and wholehearted, a man who stood apart from the corruption of his generation. The Torah doesn’t tell us precisely what Noach did to earn these descriptions. Yet we know that his righteousness was significant enough for Hashem to choose him and his family to survive the destruction of the world.

Later, when Hashem instructs Noach to enter the ark, Hashem explains: “Ki oscha ra’isi tzaddik lefanai bador hazeh,” “For I have seen you as righteous before Me in this generation.” Once again, Hashem emphasizes Noach’s righteousness. Why repeat the compliment?

The Lubavitcher Rebbe offers a powerful insight. Praise does more than recognize a person’s goodness, it helps reinforce that goodness. And a compliment is not merely a description of who someone is, it can also be an encouragement to continue becoming that person.

Consider the world in which Noach lived. His generation was characterized by corruption, violence, and immorality. Remaining righteous in such an environment was no small feat. Imagine how difficult it must have been to maintain his values when the people around him had abandoned theirs.

Perhaps, then, Hashem’s words were more than a statement of fact, they were a source of encouragement. Hashem was telling Noach: You are a tzaddik. You are doing the right thing. Keep going. And even when the world around you is moving in the opposite direction, your efforts matter.

Noach may not have been perfect in every conceivable sense. But in the context of his generation, he was striving to live a life of righteousness. Hashem’s words reinforced that commitment and gave him the strength to continue.

There is a profound lesson here for all of us. No matter how successful, accomplished, wealthy, humble, or unassuming a person may be, everyone needs encouragement. Praise reminds people that their efforts matter. It gives them the confidence to persevere, the motivation to improve, and the strength to continue doing what is right. And if Hashem Himself chose to encourage Noach through words of praise, how much more should we recognize the power of our own words?

It is so easy to move through life on autopilot. We rush from one responsibility to the next, preoccupied with our own schedules, challenges, and ambitions. We notice what needs to be done, what needs to be fixed, and what still hasn’t been accomplished. In the process, we can overlook the goodness unfolding right in front of us.

We see what people do wrong, but how often do we take the time to tell them what they do right? We notice what is missing, but do we acknowledge what is already there? Imagine what would happen if we made a conscious effort to change that. What if, every day, we looked for one person to encourage, one effort to recognize, or one act of kindness to acknowledge.

A parent could give a child the confidence to keep trying. A teacher could inspire a student who is struggling. A spouse could feel appreciated rather than taken for granted. A volunteer could feel that their countless hours of work truly matter. And a person who quietly does the right thing, even when nobody is watching, could discover that someone noticed after all.

We may not be able to give everyone a new car or send them on a dream vacation. But we can give them something that costs us nothing and may mean more than we realize. The next time you have the opportunity to offer a sincere compliment, don’t keep it to yourself. Give the gift. You might brighten someone’s day, strengthen their resolve, or even help them become the very best version of themselves.

We may not be able to change the entire world with a single compliment, but we might just change someone’s world. And that is a gift worth giving.